Living with a senior citizen is like living with a teenager

Today I had to leave work early.  After trying to call my husband every 5 minutes for an hour I still didn't get an answer.  My neighbors weren't home/didn't answer their phones so I could have him checked on.  I work 15 miles away from home (30 minute drive one way).  Anyway, I was extremely concerned and left work to check on him.

Why, you ask . . . well, my husband is 70 years old, has COPD, and is taking care of our 7 year old grandson while he's on summer vacation.  Also, yesterday he spent most of the day with the plumber helping get a small water leak repaired.  He was in 115 degree weather, so I knew he was still feeling the effects of this and I worried that he had a heart attack, or a stroke, or something had happened to our grandson.

Anyway, as soon as I was closer to home but still 15 minutes away I used my cellphone to call him and he actually answered.  I was relieved but when he said the ringer was off and he didn't know why I was then mad.  Come on, he's an adult, when it's your only phone you make sure the ringer is on and the phone works.  Then, he gets mad at me because I'm mad at him.  By the time I got home the "fight was on!"

We argued off and on for most of the afternoon.  Then, because he was still upset with me he treated the grandson with less patience than usual.  When I wouldn't let him swat him he got real mad, told the boy, "Do whatever you want" slammed into his office.  I dealt with the child first, then dealt with the man who was acting like a child.

When discussing the issue (actually not arguing) he asked me what gave me the right to tell him what to do and to tell him he couldn't swat the boy.  I made my position very clear.  With no anger, no emotion in my voice and in a low and quiet voice I told him I would NEVER let him swat, spank, or hit our grandson.  Of course, being the person he is he asked what I would do if he did.  I told him I would take the boy and leave, FOR GOOD, never to come back.  I also told him that I didn't want to do that because the boy needed him and he needed the boy.

Things are relatively quiet and calm now, although he is deliberately trying to bait me by saying things that he knows would tick me off . . . I'm pretty much ignoring him at this point.

Signed
   JF NAZ

Just When I Thought I Had It All Figured Out!

Just when I thought I had it all figured out my husband threw a monkey wrench in the works.  We were sitting playing Wii Golf against each other the other night and he told me that the night before when I was cooking dinner, the grandson was playing video game, and my husband was on his computer he said that hearing the normal everyday sounds that these things caused made him to have such a peaceful, serene feeling.

So, he's not the pain that I thought he always was.  He now is happy most of the time, but don't get me wrong we still have our arguments.

I know where I'm at. Now to answer why.

There is a time in our lives when we believe that if we believe hard enough, work hard enough, give in to another persons wants/needs often enough we can live "Happy Ever After."  I'm here to tell you that is not always true!

I have been married 3 times (4 if you count twice to the same guy).  None of those marriages have or is working out.  Maybe my expectations have been too high or maybe my choices have been bad, or maybe some of both.

Anyway, the hubby and I were having a good evening until our daughter called and was telling me some exciting news . . . because I wouldn't put the call on speaker phone for him he threw a jealous temper tantrum and turned the movie back on and turned it up trying to interrupt our conversation.  Now, do you think this is appropriate behaviour for a 70 year old man?  Sorry, I don't!  I didn't argue with him, I didn't let his behavior stop my conversation but after hanging up I did remind him that his jealous behavior would get him NO WHERE!

I keep asking myself, is this who I want my grandson to take after?  The answer is NO!!!  But, what do I do?  As I said in my earlier post I have no funds to move or even to prove to the court that I can support my grandson alone.

Tell me what you think, feel, suggest.  I would love to hear from someone about this.

Signed,
   JFNAZ59

Answering my own questions

I'm going to try to answer the second question first.  Well, that sentence sort of says it all . . . . I'm confused, slightly.

I'm in my mid 50's and raising a small grandson.  I'm married (for the 2nd time) to my husband who is in his early 70's.  So what does that have to do with where I am.  I am tied to my life.  At a time in life where I should be able to do the things I want I have to try to get along with a man who very clearly doesn't like me. All of the sake of my beloved grandson.  He needs me and I need him BUT I can't do it on less than $600.00 per payday, being paid twice a month.

My husband won't give up the house we've lived in for our whole married life.  A home that is in his name only (my choice!) along with a mortgage that costs him $900.00 per month in an area where houses cost no more than $600-$700.00 per month.  He took out the mortgage during the time we were divorced, so, as usual with him and business he got SCREWED and I mean royally by Bank of America.  But, he won't give up even though I have proved to him how much less we would pay by renting an apartment.

That is where I am.  Now, for why I'm still here.  That's the easy question . . . my grandson.  We have only Permanent Guardianship of him and therefore have to answer to the courts.  We can't afford to adopt him due to the extreme cost of our mortgage.  I can't afford to live with him on my own.  So I am stuck.  But not "stuck" with my grandson as that is the ONLY great thing about this situation.  But I am stuck in a relationship with a man that is disrespectful, sarcastic, and just plain clueless about how to act around people.

Well, so what.  I created this situation, now I have to live with it!

Write and let me know what you think . . . good or bad.

Signed,
   JFNAZ59